Friday, November 28, 2008

Shopping Madness, Indeed And In Deed

As I said this morning, I had to work today. In truth, I didn't have to. I could've taken off, but I chose to go in so that someone else could have the day off.

I chose to go to work because, well, besides having a boatload of work to do, I didn't feel like wasting a day off. I refuse to go to the stores on Black Friday, and for good reason. It brings out the basest nature of people.

This year, unfortunately, was no exception.

We have seen a report of an argument in southern California that led to two morons pulling out guns and shooting each other to death. At a toy store, none the less.

And in New York, we have the story of thousands of people so anxious to get whatever doodads they had on sale at Wally World that they broke down the door and stampeded into the store. In the resulting melee, one man was trampled to death and a woman who was eight months pregnant was injured to the point of losing her baby.

There is also this video showing a brawl at a Wally World over a some video games. I don't know which disturbs me most: The melee over an overpriced toy or the idiot taking the video and laughing about it.

And it's not only the shoppers or the store employees, but other people, who are just trying to go about with their lives, like my friend Billiam states in his strongly worded (read: adult language) on how his morning went while making deliveries to a store. (Here's a hint: It wasn't a happy one.)

The question Billiam and others like him and me are asking is: What the f**k is going on here? Many blame it on people being selfish, the me generation on steroids, if you will. They would get partial credit for that answer. The same holds true that would put it on mere materialism.

I believe that we are seeing the results of a combination of factors. Selfishness and materialism are parts of the entire problem.

I think the greater problem is that people have lost touch with themselves. All too often, people don't want to take a good look at themselves, because that might be too uncomfortable or even painful to them. It is even more uncomfortable to either accept the parts that they don't like, but have no control over, or to try to consciously try to change what they can.

But even if they actively avoid taking a hard, honest look at themselves, their subconscious is still aware of it. An example: The alcoholic that is in full denial of his disease, still knows, deep down, that is life is out of control. But instead of admitting he has a problem, and seeking help for it, tries to drown it out with more alcohol and/or anger. Thus the cycle continues.

The same is true for most of us.

To make matters worse, is that if we can't be honest and open with ourselves, we cannot do it with other people. You may love someone, be it a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or anyone else, but if you don't accept yourself, you won't believe that they will accept you either.

To cover up that fear and that anxiety, we seek out materialistic things to make us feel better and/or more attractive. We go after the status symbol crap. The big screen TVs, where people think bigger is better. The new sports car. The furs. Jewelry. We also think that if we give these things to other people, they will like us better. That is, unfortunately, usually true, because they are going through the same denial of feelings that we are.

This has snowballed to the point that crap like we saw today happens with way too much frequency. There is no object, no matter how big, how fancy or how expensive, that is worth anyone's life.

What people seem to have forgotten is that it is the little things, that usually cost nothing or next to nothing, that mean the most.

Last winter, I had my first meeting with another blogger, Billiam. Bill gave me the best Christmas present I could have asked for: his friendship. For this I am ever humble and grateful.

Owen Robinson and I don't see eye to eye on almost everything. Yet, Owen has given me advice and helped me out throughout my entire blogging career. Even though I still think his politics is completely wrong, I still know Owen to be a good man. But his help, meant more to me than anything he could've bought for me, even if he was inclined to.

Jay Bullock gave me the opportunity, the guidance and the reassurance to get me into this whole crazy business of blogging. This required a risk on his part (not knowing what a complete goof I can be) and a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of patience. How do I repay this? I can't, except to say that I am damn proud to call him a friend.

There are many others: Tim Rock, James Widgerson, Dad29, commenter Dan, Gretchen Schuldt, Dan Cody, Illy-T, the Mathiases, the list goes on and on. They might not always agree with me, but they have all treated me with enough courtesy for me to be grateful. I would rather have their friendship (or the blogging equivalence anyway) than any materialistic gift.

And of course, the greatest gift I ever got, the one that makes the brightest diamond seem like a river pebble, that makes the biggest flat screen TV look like a poster board, that makes the fanciest car seem like a rusty roller skate, is the love I get from my wife every day.

I guess what I'm trying to say in my long, overly verbose, meandering way is that people need to realize the greatest thing they could give to another person is their time, their friendship, and good memories. Those are the things that should matter. And until we remember this, I am afraid that the idiocy that we saw today, will only continue.

7 comments:

  1. I think you're right. Despite all the ways we can now be connected (thanks to technology), we are more disconnected than ever.

    It's a world in which we can criticize others online, behind screen names and without regard for the feelings of other people. We can break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend with a text message. We can write angry letters and find other ways to "connect" with people using methods that usually end up dividng us.

    We find joy in tearing other people down, we love to criticize celebrities and public servants, and we find few ways to do anything other than disagree.

    In the end, we're all human. We all have flaws. And we've forgotten our perspective.

    God only knows how we can get it back.

    Now I've gotta go be depressed. Thanks!;)

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  2. It is a proven fact that chocolate and/or ice cream helps depression.

    All we can do, RP, is continue to fight the good fight and try to help one another.

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  3. Thanks, capper, nice post.
    I work at at a Wal Mart in Vegas, part time. I see this crap just about everyday.
    But it's just not at Wal Mart. It's everywhere. At the school I teach at, in the community and even driving down the road. How many times has a person had a chance to merge, but refuses to until the last moment, when the lane ends. I am a hard ass, if I waited in line and some jerk wants to merge at the last second, I never let them in.
    Anyways, my sympathies to the Wal Mart employee and his family.
    My hope is that people start respecting people. Will it happen, doubt it.

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  4. As I mentioned in my post, Other Side and I talked about this. There's so much anonymity today. People don't seem to see anyone other then their 'circle' as human. From my point of view, some of it is a lack of faith or belief in God. That said, I see worth in what you've written, and it has the ring of truth to it. Also, thanks for the flowers! Friends and family are all...

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  5. This is a good post. What I find interesting is you (capper) don't see yourself as part of the problem. This isn't all about you and who is nice to you. You have to give kindness and respect too. Anonymity in blogging is a necessity because there are too many people like you lurking out there waiting to smear people's personal issues all over the net in an attempt to humiliate them. A person would have to be crazy to identify themselves to a blogger like you, especially if they are a conservative woman. Also, how sweet you and Owen are so cozy together. It's not surprising. A match made in heaven (or hell) I am sure.

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  6. Did anyone get a newspaper that wasn't the thickest flyer-filled issue of the year? Did anyone surf the local news (I get the Green Bay market turding-heads on parade) and not notice the exclusive coverage of the events exhibiting shopping fervor rivaling a Bears/Pukers game? What kind of behavior other than the nonsense exhibited would anyone reasonably expect? Shouldn't these "news" stations be charged as terrorist collaborators with their editorial contributions potentially inciting riots. Aren't they as guilty of prior culpability as "peace protesters" being arrested prior to making their "protests" at the RNC last summer. Oh, that's right media is getting paid to hype thoughtless consumerism. It is "free," speech that isn't, anymore.

    Alternet.org carried a story last week about the $millions that Citigroup and others who are getting bailout, handouts spend on professional sports. Mind numbing pablum designed to sell alcohol, create fictional rivalry and glorify a level of human violence. Thank your child's school for early indoctrination into this fictional rivalry BS with the heavy emphasis on "sports," to the exclusion of(or maybe the wholesale substitution for)real learning.

    Aside from the tiny fractional number of actual thought provoking media outlets and the blogs that take another look at the world, big money shapes thought and an unsustainable cheap oil consumer mentality. How much of your budget, economic or personal attention, goes to support this trash. Take a tally and figure out where you fit. Then withdraw your consumer support where appropriate. Maybe then a change can be effected. Watch out though, you might be labeled un-American.

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  7. Who was it who said "I love humanity; it's PEOPLE I can't stand"...?

    I'm not sure that the "anonymity" thing is to blame--look, for example, at the abuse shoveled at identifiable people such as Sykes, Limbaugh, (etc.)--even Joel McNally takes some.

    I think it's more along the lines of allowing 'venting' to act out in real life. Swagger on a blogsite is acceptable insofar as it is usually designed to provoke reaction (or sometimes to engage an actual argument.)

    But 'swagger' in real life is generally unacceptable.

    That's one piece of the puzzle, and you ID'd the "Me-ism" very well in your post.

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